Be Someone Who Makes People Feel Good About Themselves

There is already enough in this world making people question themselves. We compare ourselves constantly, wonder if we’re doing enough, worry about what other people think, and probably criticize ourselves way more than anyone else ever could. So when you have the opportunity to make someone feel good about themselves, DO IT. Tell the woman in the grocery store you love her outfit. Tell your friend she’s an amazing mom. Tell someone you’re proud of them. If you notice something good about somebody, say it out loud. You have no idea how badly they may have needed to hear it that day.

 

And I think we sometimes underestimate how much the little things matter. Remembering someone’s birthday. Checking in after they told you they were having a hard week. Introducing the person standing quietly on the outside of the conversation. Inviting the friend you haven’t heard from in a while. Looking someone in the eye when they’re talking instead of checking your phone. Asking someone about the thing they were excited about the last time you talked. None of these things are huge gestures, but they make people feel like they matter.

 

I especially love women who genuinely celebrate other women. There is something so refreshing about a friend who can watch you win and be just as excited for you as she would be for herself. No weird energy. No comparison. No trying to make your accomplishment smaller. Just “I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!!!” and actually meaning it. 😂 We need more of that. Someone else doing well doesn’t take anything away from you. Their beautiful marriage doesn’t make yours less beautiful. Their business growing doesn’t mean yours can’t. Their good news doesn’t mean your good news isn’t coming. There is room to clap for people while you’re still waiting on something of your own.

 

I also think about this so much as a mama because our babies are watching the way we treat people. They notice when we include someone. They hear how we talk about our friends when they aren’t around. They see whether we compliment people or criticize them. They watch how we respond when someone else succeeds. I want my kids to grow up being the people who notice the kid sitting alone. I want them to be the friend who cheers the loudest. I want them to be kind when there is absolutely nothing in it for them. And I know one of the biggest ways I can teach them that is by letting them watch me do it first.

 

And making people feel good about themselves doesn’t mean you have to be fake or constantly compliment everyone around you. I actually think it’s the opposite. It’s paying enough attention to people that when you see something worth celebrating, you acknowledge it. It’s being secure enough in yourself that you don’t feel like someone else shining somehow dims your own light. You can be confident in who you are and still make room for someone else to feel confident too.

 

One thing I’ve really tried to get better about is not just thinking nice things about people, but actually saying them. How many times have you thought, “She looks so pretty,” or “She is such a good mom,” or “I’m really proud of her,” and then just… never told her? SAY IT. 😂 Send the text. Leave the comment. Give the compliment. Tell your husband you appreciate him. Tell your friend you admire something about her. Tell your kids exactly what makes you proud of them. We’re so quick to assume people know how we feel about them, but hearing it is different.

 

I think people remember how you make them feel much longer than they remember anything else about you. They might not remember what you were wearing or what you talked about, but they’ll remember that you included them when they felt awkward. They’ll remember that you celebrated something they were excited about. They’ll remember that you listened. They’ll remember that they didn’t have to make themselves smaller around you.