Motherhood Is a Lot of Learning as You Go

Something I've learned as a mom is that just because we're the adults doesn't mean we always know what we're doing. And I think that's one of the funniest and most beautiful parts of raising children. We're teaching these little humans how to navigate life while we're still figuring out plenty of things ourselves. Some days I feel like I've got it all together. The kids are where they need to be, everyone's fed, the house is somewhat clean, and I might even have a little time to myself. Other days? I'm reheating my coffee for the third time, forgetting what I walked into a room for, and wondering how it's only 10 a.m. Welcome to motherhood, ladies!

 

The thing about having kids is that just when you feel like you've mastered one stage, they move right along to the next. You finally figure out how to handle toddler tantrums, and suddenly you're dealing with friendships, hurt feelings, school projects, sports schedules, and questions that make you stop and think, "Well, goodness, how DO I explain that?" Nobody really prepares you for how often motherhood requires you to come up with answers on the spot. And sometimes those answers are great! Other times you walk away thinking, "Okay, probably could've handled that one a little better." But that's life, and that's learning.

 

I also think it's funny how much our kids end up teaching us. We spend so much time making sure they're learning their manners, being kind, working hard, and growing into good people, but somewhere along the way, they're teaching us a few things, too. Patience, for one. And I don't mean the cute kind of patience. I mean the kind you need when you've asked someone to put their shoes on seventeen times and they're still standing in the kitchen telling you a story about something that happened three days ago. HA! But seriously, our children have a way of showing us where we need to grow, too. They teach us to slow down, listen a little longer, apologize when we're wrong, and remember that sometimes the little things really are the big things.

 

And can we talk about how different every child is? You can raise two kids in the same house, with the same rules, the same parents, and the same routines, and somehow end up with two completely different personalities. One might be your little rule follower, while the other is negotiating bedtime like they're closing a business deal. One wants to tell you every single detail about their day, and the other gives you a quick "good" when you ask how school went. It really is amazing how God creates each of them so uniquely. And as moms, we get the privilege of figuring out how to love, encourage, and guide each one in the way they need it most. What works for one child might not work for the other, and that's okay. There's no one-size-fits-all handbook for raising kids.

 

Another thing I've realized is that sometimes we put so much pressure on ourselves to make every moment count that we forget to just enjoy being their mom. We want to create the memories, plan the fun activities, make the holidays special, keep everyone happy, and somehow have a clean house in the middle of it all. But some of my favorite moments aren't the ones that took weeks of planning. They're the random conversations in the car, the laughing over something completely ridiculous at dinner, the spontaneous ice cream runs, or those evenings when everyone ends up piled on the couch together. Sometimes the best memories happen when absolutely nothing special is going on.

 

I think there's also something really sweet about watching your relationship with your kids change as they grow. When they're little, they need you for practically everything. You're tying shoes, packing snacks, wiping faces, and answering approximately one million questions a day.

 

 Then slowly, they start doing more things on their own. They develop their own interests, their own sense of humor, their own opinions, and their own little personalities. And while there's definitely a part of you that misses those tiny hands reaching for yours, there's also something so exciting about getting to know the people they're becoming. You start having real conversations with them. They make jokes that actually make you laugh. They teach you things you didn't know. And sometimes you look at them and think, "When did you get so grown up?" It's the sweetest and strangest feeling all at once.

 

One thing I really want my kids to know is that their mom isn't perfect, and she doesn't have to be. I want them to see me work hard, have fun, make mistakes, laugh at myself, and try again. I want them to know that adults don't have all the answers either. We get frustrated. We have bad days. We sometimes say things the wrong way or react before thinking.

 

 And when that happens, we can apologize, learn from it, and do better next time. I actually think there's something really valuable in letting our children see that side of us. We're not just teaching them how to be good kids. We're showing them what it looks like to be human.

 

And let's be real, motherhood has a funny way of humbling you when you least expect it. You can have an entire parenting philosophy worked out in your head, and then your child will do something that throws every bit of it out the window. I remember how easy it was to have opinions about parenting before actually experiencing certain situations. Oh, how quickly those opinions can change! Sometimes you just have to laugh because the things you swore you'd never do as a parent become the very things that get you through a Tuesday afternoon. And you know what? That's okay, too. We're all doing our best with the season we're in.

 

I also believe we need to give ourselves a little more credit. Think about everything you've learned since becoming a mom. Things you never imagined you'd know how to do. You've learned how to comfort a crying baby, how to function on very little sleep, how to celebrate tiny milestones like they're the biggest accomplishments in the world, and how to love someone so much it almost doesn't make sense. You've learned to juggle schedules, handle unexpected situations, and somehow know exactly where everyone's missing belongings are located. Well, most of the time. We're still looking for that one missing shoe!

 

But beyond all the funny, everyday mom things, you've also grown as a person. Motherhood stretches your heart in ways you never expected. It teaches you to be more understanding, more compassionate, and more aware of how much the little moments matter. It makes you realize that you can be both strong and sensitive, both exhausted and grateful, and both confident and completely unsure of what you're doing. All of those things can exist at the same time. You don't have to have a perfect day to be a good mom, and you certainly don't have to have all the answers.

 

And I think one of the biggest lessons motherhood has taught me is that it's okay to change your mind. It's okay to realize something you used to do isn't working anymore. It's okay to try a different approach, create new traditions, adjust your expectations, and grow into a different version of yourself. We're always encouraging our kids to learn new things, step outside their comfort zones, and keep trying when something doesn't work out. Shouldn't we give ourselves that same encouragement?
 

The truth is, our children aren't expecting us to have life completely figured out. They want our love, our attention, our encouragement, and someone they know they can always come home to. They want us to listen to their stories, cheer them on, laugh at their silly jokes, and show up when it matters. They don't need a mom who gets everything right. They need a mom who keeps showing up, keeps learning, and loves them through every season.

 

And maybe that's what makes motherhood so special. We're not just raising our children. We're growing with them. Every new age, every new challenge, every milestone, and every unexpected moment teaches us something we didn't know before. The mom I was when my kids were babies isn't exactly the same mom I am today, and I'm sure the mom I'll be five or ten years from now will have learned a whole lot more. That's a beautiful thing! We aren't supposed to stay the same. Life is about growing, and motherhood gives us plenty of opportunities to do just that.