The Life You Prayed For Can Still Feel Hard
I think one of the strangest parts of growing up is realizing that you can be living a life you once prayed so hard for… and still have days where you feel completely overwhelmed by it.
You can love your kids more than anything in this world and still count down the minutes until bedtime. You can be incredibly thankful for your work and still have days where you want to close the laptop, ignore every notification, and pretend your to-do list doesn’t exist. You can love your husband and your marriage and still get annoyed over something completely ridiculous. You can be grateful for your home while staring at the laundry pile thinking, how are there already more clothes in here? You can have plans you’re excited about, people you love, a healthy family, opportunities you once dreamed about—and still feel tired.
I think sometimes we make ourselves feel guilty for that.
We tell ourselves, I shouldn’t complain. I asked for this. Or, There are people who would give anything to have what I have. And while gratitude is so important, I’ve learned that gratitude doesn’t mean pretending everything is easy.
Two things can be true at the same time.
I can look around my kitchen at the end of the day, see backpacks on the floor, cups everywhere, something sticky on the counter that I somehow missed, my phone buzzing with something for work, and think, Lord, I am exhausted. And at the exact same time, I can know deep down that these are some of the days I’m going to miss the most.
That has probably been one of the biggest lessons for me lately: a hard day doesn’t mean you have a bad life.
Sometimes it just means you had a hard day.
You don't have to turn every difficult moment into a sign that something needs to change. Sometimes you're just tired. Sometimes the kids are cranky. Sometimes work is stressful. Sometimes plans fall apart. Sometimes you and your husband are both running on empty. Sometimes dinner is whatever you can throw together, everyone needs you at the exact same time, and you realize at 8 p.m. that you never even finished the coffee you made that morning.
That's life.
And I actually think there is something really freeing about accepting that.
I used to think getting to the “good part” of life meant everything would eventually settle down. There would be a point where the house stayed clean, the schedule made sense, work felt manageable, I had time for everything, and I somehow became the mom who remembered every school thing without checking the email five times.
Still waiting on her. 😂
But maybe the goal was never to get to a life where nothing feels hard. Maybe the goal is learning how to notice what's good while life is hard.
When I start feeling overwhelmed, I’ve been trying to stop asking myself, Why can’t I handle all of this better? and instead ask, What actually needs me today?
Not this week. Not next month. Today.
Because everything feels urgent when you're overwhelmed, and usually it isn't. The laundry can wait. The email can wait until morning. The house does not have to look perfect before you go to bed. You don't have to say yes to every invitation. You don't have to turn every free hour into a productive one. And sometimes the most productive thing you can do is sit on the couch with your family, put your phone down, and be where your feet are.
I've also learned to stop feeling guilty for needing a break from things I'm grateful for.
Needing time alone doesn't mean I don't love being a mom. Wanting a date night doesn't mean our family time isn't enough. Taking a day off doesn't mean I'm less passionate about my work. Feeling overwhelmed doesn't make me ungrateful.
It makes me human.
And I think we need to give ourselves a little more room for that.
Because when you spend your whole life chasing the next milestone, it's easy to forget that at one point, some of what feels “normal” today was something you desperately wanted. The marriage. The babies. The home. The career. The business. The trips. The family traditions. Even the crazy schedules that exist because your children have little lives and interests of their own.
One day, some of the things that exhaust us right now will be the things we'd give anything to experience one more time.
That doesn't mean we have to enjoy every second. I don't believe in putting that pressure on ourselves either. Some moments are simply not enjoyable. 😂 But I do think we can learn to notice them.
The little hand reaching for yours. The random conversation in the car. Everyone piled into your bed. The family dinner that was loud and chaotic. Your husband making you laugh when you've had enough for the day. The toys you almost tripped over. The shoes by the door. The calendar that's completely full.
This life can be beautiful and exhausting.
It can be answered prayers and unanswered questions.
It can be gratitude and stress, joy and frustration, confidence and uncertainty—all in the same week, sometimes all in the same day.
So if you're in a season where you keep thinking, I have so much to be thankful for, so why do I feel overwhelmed?—maybe stop making yourself choose between the two.
Be grateful.
And take the nap.
Thank God for your babies.
And enjoy bedtime.
Love your work.
And close the laptop.
Be thankful for your people.
And take an hour for yourself.
You don't have to prove how grateful you are by running yourself into the ground.
Maybe part of honoring the life you prayed for is actually slowing down enough to live it.
Because the goal isn't to create a life that never feels hard.
It's to build a life that, even on the hard days, you can look around and still think…
I wouldn't trade this life for anything.
Leave a comment